The Katie Show

I am generally a loner. i like to have people around, but not necessarily interacting with them. i like to be alone in a crowd. or else out with one or two people i know really well.
which i probably surprises a lot of people i know.

I blame this on a phenomenon my husband calls the katie show. i've traced the roots of this little charade back much longer than the time i've known him, though.
but first let me tell you what it is: often when i go out, i make myself the center of attention. i dominate the conversation, i tell funny stories, i keep everyone amused. and people keep coming back for more, so i'm assuming i don't do it in an obnoxious way. people like me in general. i present myself as a happy-go-lucky devil-may-care kind of gal. sad and depressed katie puts on a excellent katie show, and my poor, darling husband always has to deal with the vitriol when i get home, because i can't keep it up forever. it's as if for every funny, witty thing i say, something nasty, snarky and hateful has to come out later. i do love the katie show while it's happening, but the come down is brutal. (see why i've never done coke?)

So, where did this entertainer-like behaviour begin? why can't i just be happy with someone else being in charge? because i grew up in a house where no one else would say a word if i didn't provide the comedy routine! my sister and my dad were always too wrapped up in their own heads. they are the academics in the immediate family, and it shows. my sister often gets lost in her thoughts to the point of total oblivion. and my father is currently obsessed with some long irrelevant economic theory. he seems to think it'll be earth shattering when he disproves it. in my bid to please everyone, i learned at a young age how to spin my day into a web of humerous situations that would provide a seamless backdrop for the family dinner (6:30 exactly!) so the meal would be tollerable, and we'd all be off the hook.

See? nobody's family is normal.